Episode 45 - What Matters Most In A Church

We talk about what people really seek when they choose a church and why the door should be easy to enter but the call to follow Jesus should still be high. We share candid stories about worship, buildings, dress, Bible reading, parenting, repentance, and what growth actually looks like.

• low barrier to belong, high call to follow
• choosing churches by biblical teaching and authentic community
• buildings optional, access and welcome essential
• sermons that comfort and confront without compromise
• Bible reading for transformation over tally marks
• parents as primary disciplers with church support
• repentance as the path from failure to growth
• resisting entertainment church and pursuing disciple-making
• practical invite to Connect Church times and location

If you're in town in the Rockdale area on Sunday, come by at 10 o'clock. We have donuts, coffee, and fellowship at 10 30. We start service. Like I said, we have a children's church and we have a nursery. Be happy to see everybody we can.

Transcript

Welcome And Church Invite

SPEAKER_01 0:09

Welcome to Let's Connect, the official podcast of Connect Church in Rockdale, Texas, where we want to help you to live a life that matters. One that is both on mission and has a purpose to follow Jesus and make disciples. So let's get started.

SPEAKER_02 0:31

All right, welcome into Let's Connect, the official podcast of Connect Church here in Rockdale, Texas. I'm your host, Bill Whitmeyer. I've got our pastor, Ken Ansel. He's always here with me. Yeah, I'm always here. How are you doing today?

SPEAKER_00 0:46

Great. How are you doing?

SPEAKER_02 0:47

Oh, pretty good. Not bad for a Tuesday or Thursday. Thursday. It's Thursday. Wow. Apparently it's great for a Tuesday because it's already Thursday, which means tomorrow's Friday. So time's flying, man. Yeah. Somebody told me the other day that, you know, time seems to fly with the older you get because each year makes up a shorter amount of the time you're alive. So like when you're 10, that year you're 10, that's one tenth of your life. But by the time you're 50, now it's, you know, only 2% of your life. I was like, wow, that's that's pretty deep.

SPEAKER_00 1:21

But deep and ugly. And yeah, I th I read some stuff on it too.

What People Seek In A Church

SPEAKER_02 1:25

I think it's because we're more forgetful and we just forget stuff, you know. We forget I can't remember what I ate. Lunch was like three hours ago, and I can't remember what I ate. So uh but we're at Connect Church here in Rockdale, Texas. Uh we hold services just like everybody else, or like everybody should on Sundays. Um, if you're in the area, we have coffee, donuts, fellowship at 10 o'clock, and then we have our service at 10:30. We do have a church, we do have a uh nursery and we have children's church, which I guess the nurse and I have it this week. So we'll be ready for that. But uh we are we meet in Rockdale out at the American Legion Hall right now, and uh you're more than welcome to come join us. We are always welcoming of new folks, which this uh this you know sometimes in the office when I'm waiting on somebody and I don't want to get started too deep into another topic or another project and and and have to break off. I'll I'll spend a little time, you know. I'm over I'm over 40. That's as far as I'm going. I'm over 40. So I was told by one of my kids the other day, only you old people still use chat GPT. And so every now and then I'll throw a question in ChatGPT and see what comes up when I'm in that mode, and I just want some light reading generally. I try to not make it too deep. And so today I was writing or I was typing, and I just typed in, you know, five things that matter most when you're looking for a new church, and it gave me five things, you know, biblical teaching, authentic community, opportunities to serve, and you know, a few others, but it got me to thinking, and then when you and I were talking shortly before we started, we we started talking, and and um when when folks come into a church, when they go to a church, and we've talked about this a little bit before in our podcast and and and and in person just off the air and stuff and with friends, but what is it that people are actually looking for in a church? Are they looking for an actual relationship with God or are they looking for a um what we've what we've talked about before and what what what's been written about many times that that um that country club type aspect of being in a church, or are they looking for some some kind of place to go on Sundays so they can put a check in the block? And then, you know, w what is it they should be looking for versus what are they looking for, you know? Um and you know, we've talked about this before where church when when you leave that church service, you should be reinvigorated, but you should also be somewhat challenged when you leave to to thinking about how you're living your life or or what it is you're doing in your life and if you are being a disciple or making a disciple. And so I often think you know, too far too many people uh many times are looking for what they think that church should be and probably not what God thinks that church should be.

SPEAKER_00 4:38

Wow, yeah. Does it satisfy their felt needs? Yeah. Wow, I th I think there's I really think there's a lot of that, don't you? Yeah. People are looking for I mean, no doubt, you're looking for uh I heard someone say the other day there's not enough old people at our church. I mean, but like whoever said that, right? Because most churches are a lot of churches are full of older people.

SPEAKER_02 5:05

Especially the ones that are still just hanging on, yeah, basically.

SPEAKER_00 5:10

And they want younger people. And so then when someone comes to a younger church and wants older people, no doubt you want you want people that you can relate to. Uh, you know, like there's nothing wrong with that. But yeah, are you are you going to a church that that uh you know our son used to lead the music at our church and walks a hatchy, and he would always pray that we would leave uh different than we came. And so certainly when you show up, you should be challenged and changed, you know, at least transformation, some kind of the Holy Spirit starting some kind of transformation based on the word, right, that went out that morning, that it that it that's challenging you and and helping develop your relationship with Christ and that you're becoming a fully functioning, reproducing disciple of Christ. You know, one not only is it about your discipleship, but then you you learning how to make disciples as well, and using your spiritual gifting and skill set talents and those kinds of things.

SPEAKER_02 6:49

You had your go-to school clothes, you had you come home and play clothes, yeah. And then and and and I'm not saying there's like 30 sets of each. You might have had like four pairs of tough skins and some t-shirts that you wore to school, and then you come home and change into shorts, and then on Sunday, yeah, you had two or three different outfits that you wore to church on Sunday. And if your parents were smart, they bought you granimals so that you could have like three pairs of pants and three shirts, and they were all the same animal, so you could match them all up and have like nine different outfits. So you were good for a couple of months, you know, that's good with just three sets of clothes. Yeah, if you're kind of slightly colorblind like me, it I wish they made granimals for adults. No kidding. It wouldn't make it would make the nurse's life so much easier because I wouldn't be constantly going up. Are these the same color? Does this look good? All right, because another day I got all dressed and put on uh put on brown shoes and brown belt and got it all ready and walked out the door and realized I was, you know, it wasn't until I got halfway to the funeral I was going to that I realized I was wearing black pants. And I said something, and she's like, She's like, No, there's a blue tint to it. And I'm like, You're just saying that because I can't tell if there's a blue tint to it. She goes, Well, there might be some truth to that too. So, but you know, apparently it was all right because nobody really said anything. I don't know if anybody's gonna say anything anyway, but but we we we have that low bar, you know, and and when we were in school, there was uh for a lot of people, there was a pretty high bar to go to church because they might not have had the clothes to wear. And and so, you know, you would see those churches where if you want to call them those highbrow people went, and then you had the church where the quote unquote lowbrow people went. And over the years, in the 40 years or 50 years time that have have have passed, what you wear to church has become so much less important than where you're going and how you're going. So how you're going, or why you're going. And so that bar has gotten lower, which in a lot of ways is is is really good because it's allowed a lot more people to get rid of that anxiety when they walk into a church. Yeah. The the the the the barrier or the bar now is less about how you get there and what happens in that church when you get there, because there's a lot of low bar churches that are more about entertainment than they are about message.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That that uh man, there's a lot of good things going on right now. The other day a friend of mine even said he's at a pretty good sized church down in Houston, he's on staff down there, he said, Ken, there's a trend growing right now that do we even need a band? Like you can sing to tracks who are on the the musicians on the tracks are professionals, and a lot of churches aren't gonna get that quality. And he goes, and and then if you if you've ever been involved in the music ministry in the church, you know what it takes. I mean, just practice times and yada yada, and I'm like, wow. So so yeah, we're we're we, whoever we are, is rethinking something as hardcore as that. We sing to tracks, and sometimes I think, man, I wish we had a guitarist or a electronic pianist or something like that. Would that be moving up? And he's telling me, Oh no, Ken, that would be moving down. And I'm like, oh wow, we're heading a home run and we don't even know it. I I picked up our Mormon friends and gave them a ride to the Kingdom Hall the other day. And obviously we don't believe the same way, but they were wearing full-blown suits. I mean, match, you know, matching jacket pants, not a sport coat or blazer. And I'm like, uh, does everybody dress up? Like I've never been to a kingdom hall. So and I said, Does everybody dress up? And what and these are young guys here, they go, You're Sunday best, right? And I just go, I mean, I didn't say anything because I thought, well, I don't know, what does that mean? I mean, uh, yeah, I mean, God sees our heart, you know, but I'm maybe I'm getting a little bit off track here. But yeah, I mean, just low barrier. I mean, I think Jesus was low barrier.

SPEAKER_02 10:48

Like um, nobody was checking anybody at the Sermon on the Mount. It was everybody coming. Yeah. You know, oh, you you your sandals are yeah, no, no, no, no, no, no. Closed toe sandals, that's it. No, I mean, it was we we we've talked about this the Sermon on the Mount to me always get your good sandals on. No flip-flops up here, you're gonna have to have backs on them sandals. Boston Birch. But you know, we uh the Sermon on the Mount to me is always one of those things that it for so many people that was like a Eureka thing. You know, everybody left there going, Oh, yes, yes. And the fact of the matter is the the sermon itself really slapped everybody there in the face. Yeah. You know, I mean you you think about all the things that were were said during the Sermon on the Mount, all the Beatitudes and everything, and and you know turn your cheek. You know, all the things that were were were were were put out there and and you know love one another as you love me. Everything that was put out there, and and I doubt there was anybody that left there saying, Yep, I got it.

SPEAKER_03 12:04

Yeah, I'm good.

SPEAKER_02 12:05

Yeah, and and yet so many places now folks want to go to church where when they leave, and I hear this all the time, I just want to go somewhere when I leave, I I I just I just feel wonderful.

SPEAKER_00 12:18

I feel good, yeah.

Clothes, Culture, And Real Barriers

SPEAKER_02 12:19

Yeah, I feel good when I leave. I I'm refreshed, I'm restored. Yeah. And the fact of the matter is that there was never a sermon, never a talk that that when you read the red letters, there was never a time that Jesus didn't challenge somebody. You know, yeah, the low bar to be there was low. Yeah, welcome. You know, come all. Yeah you know, but the bar for self-examination and self-improvement was high. And I mean Jesus was the ultimate. I'm gonna lay it on you hard. You know, he was polite about it, but when you I I don't know when I read the red letters and when I read what Jesus said, it it it affects me today, yeah, and I gotta think when the man was standing there telling these people this, yeah, you know, okay, the rich guy didn't get it, and there were a few that didn't get it. Yeah, but but when you when you don't get it, and when you hear words from you know the red letters or from God, and and and you try to justify what you did or did not do, well, you're like that rich guy right there. Yeah, you just don't get it. Yeah. And it's hard, and and I've been there before. I've been there where I've I know what it says, I've read it, I've had it read to me my whole life. But I'm like, well, yeah, but but that's old stuff, you know. We're we live in a modern world. We need to and and no, that's it. That's the whole message.

SPEAKER_00 13:53

Yeah, so low barrier to to come in and and taste and see or hear that God is good. Uh, but then the to to follow Christ, it it looks high in scripture. Consider the cost, Jesus said. Um you know, nobody starts to build a a tower, you know, unless they've done that. And you have to die to yourself and follow me. Pick up your cross daily and follow me. And so and so the cost of following Jesus is high, but but yeah, just to to come in and and I we'll use the term seek, right? Seek Christ. Even if someone's seeking Christ, God is drawing them in. The Bible says no one seeks God, but but we know that the Spirit draws and and Jesus saves. So yeah, low, low nothing wrong with low barrier, like casual setting. We meet we meet in a I mean, we don't have a church building, but uh we intentionally meet in a low barrier neutral location like a school or a community center. Now we're in the American Legion Hall. Because a lot of people have been to those places already, and a lot of churches have big doors that you can't they don't have windows, like what's going on in there? Like that could be a barrier to someone coming in and and finding community in Christ, but and then within his body, if that makes sense.

SPEAKER_02 15:23

I would just think how many times did in the Bible did Jesus preach in a temple as an adult?

SPEAKER_00 15:30

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:31

And how many of those times did he preach in a temple as an adult did they turn out good? You know, and so when I hear people say you you know, you you have to have a church building to be a real church.

SPEAKER_00 15:43

Yeah, I've heard that.

SPEAKER_02 15:44

Jesus never had a church building, and the times that he did preach inside of a real church, yeah, you know, I mean, they almost killed him in his hometown over that. Yeah. You know, and I'm not saying any of us are are are are Messiah like. We're not. Yeah. But what I'm saying is to to to have a church building, to be in a church building is great, but it's not necessary. And so when we set the the the bar shouldn't be about you coming in, you being there. That bar should be the message that is preached on Sunday or anytime a message is preached, in you know, r uh anywhere, be it Sunday, be it Monday, be it Tuesday, be it Thursday, whenever it is, wherever it's taught. That message should be somewhat challenging and should put us in a place. I I don't there I can't find anywhere in the Bible where any message that that Jesus preached wasn't a challenging message to somebody in attendance, if not everybody.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Yeah. But it's got to, you know, you want to go to a church that's uh biblically accurate, uh doesn't uh compromise on that. And the music, even the even the music, whether it's hymns or it's it's what we call contemporary, the lyrics need to be accurate as well.

SPEAKER_02 17:07

Uh and and here's something else that I think I had this discussion with a with an older family member of mine the other day, and and they said uh I said, well, if it's not in the hymnal, it shouldn't be sang in church. And I said, have you have you actually read the words in the hymnal to all the hymns? Man, there are some great hymns in the hymnal. Don't get me wrong. But there are some that when you read them, you're like, Yeah, wow, that's uh that's messed up.

SPEAKER_00 17:34

Yeah.

Music Debates And Biblical Lyrics

SPEAKER_02 17:35

Yeah. If you read it biblically, it's like, wow, that's probably um not the best words to follow, you know. And so so it doesn't matter whether it's contemporary music or it's actually traditional hymnal type music, there are good ones, and then there are not so good ones. Absolutely. And you have to be, you know, pay attention to it, you know. And then I mean, there are people that with the best of intention have created music, and then when you listen to the music and you look at it, it's sketchy. Yeah, it's sketchy.

SPEAKER_00 18:05

I think what you're yeah, I mean, what you're saying, and what I think too, I mean, John's really good in 1 John of just kicking you in the throat is I mean, with every Bible, we were just talking about purchasing new Bibles, with every Bible sale, you ought to get a welder's helmet. Because man, there is friction, right? There are sparks flying when you get in God's word. And and when you go to church, there's gonna be some sparks flying. When you go to Bible study, there's gonna, right, there's gonna, there's gonna be iron sharpening iron. And uh, and so get ready for that. If you, you know, there I mean, even when you're challenged, right? You you you ought to feel good about that.

SPEAKER_02 18:42

Yeah, and and and one thing to go with what what you're saying about reading the Bible, and and it's something that when you you brought it up, I don't know why this popped in my head. But um when you read your Bible, it doesn't matter whether you read three pages or three verses. It it should be about trying to understand what you're reading. And I and I for a lot of people we get locked into this thing where we have to read. I can only read a few verses at a time. Great. Engulf them. You know, swallow them, understand them, understand those verses. And a lot of folks they own a Bible, a lot of folks don't even own Bibles anymore, and I mean they use their phones and that's okay if that's if that's what works for you. But a lot of people own a Bible, but the only time they pick it up is when they carry it into church and they they thump through it and find the verse that you have in the bulletin, and then when they carry it back to their car and take it back in the house. This is God speaking to you. You know, I've we've talked about a family member of mine who's an evangelist and he wrote a book a while back, and the first chapter is, you know, God spoke to me today and he said this, this, and this. And the message is like, wow, and if you if you believe that God talked to him, you're you're listening to it. And if you don't believe God talked to him, you're like, oh man, that's fool. And then you realize it's the Bible verses that he read that morning. Yeah. And that's how God was talking to him. And so we don't do that, and then we go on Sunday and we want to go to a church that's at low barrier, low barrier not only to be there and show up, but low barrier to challenge you on Sunday and how you think. And guess what? You you used a phrase earlier that jumped in my mind, and and there's gonna be adversity doing what God wants you to do. And and the fact of the matter is the world is gonna fight you on it. And if you're fighting that church because it's easy to go there in the world and you say, Well, I go to this church, and the world's like, Oh, yeah, that's great, that's great. Well, that may be a church you need to look at somewhere else. That may be that low barrier, not only to showing up, but to what you need to do in your life to be a Christian, to truly be a Christian. And for a lot of people, when that barrier comes at them, they don't want any part of that. Yeah, you know, and and and they'll turn to other means to do what they need to do in their lives to justify how they live and be critical of how the other person lives. And you know what? Sometimes, you know, I think we've talked about this, you know, the nurse and I, we have eight children, and I'll tell you what, all eight children, they're not on the same page we are.

SPEAKER_00 21:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:24

And you know why? Because they are individuals all their own and they have to walk their own walk, either with Christ or parallel to Christ, but away from him, and or however you want to visualize it. Not everybody's gonna have that same walk. Not everybody's not everybody has that same walk you do. Your walk with God is like your fingerprint, completely different than anybody else. Yeah, and you have that choice that you can walk with him, set that barrier, set that bar where God sets it and get to that bar, or you can set that bar where you want it and then just go to that bar. It's it's completely up to you. Sometimes when I'm talking, I'm looking at you and you you have that look like Melissa looks at me sometimes when I'm saying something and she doesn't understand what I'm saying.

Sermon On The Mount As Challenge

SPEAKER_00 22:10

No, I'm I'm just soaking. I'm listening. I'm trying to be a sponge. Yeah, you know, I think I think, man, there's just so much to this, and and you know, we haven't even talked about it. It's time to go, I know, but uh, you know, like ministries, like there's no doubt, there's nothing wrong with looking for a church that has things for your kids, your teenagers, uh, maybe for the age bracket you're in. But at the same time, you know, uh Deuteronomy 6 is clear that God's given you your children and you need to be raising them up. Anything the church does is is is the gravy that goes with a biscuit. Like, you know, you're at home with those kids, you need to teach them about the Lord according to God's scripture. And then what the church does is is just extra. And there's nothing wrong with looking for a church that does that. But as parents, I mean, I would want a church that's um, you know, challenging me and and I'm changing, and then I can share that with my kids as well. I heard someone the other day, you know, a lot of times people leave a church because they said it didn't feed me, and the person talking said, What are you, a cow? I mean, and I got the point. That was a little rough, but I got but I got the point, you know, and someone else told me I remember one time at a church, you know, someone left and and I said, Why do you think, you know, I heard that they left the church I was at, and I go, Why do you think they left? And they said, You know, Ken, I think sometimes it gets too hot in the kitchen. Yeah. And they just can't take it, you know, that they're just they're not they want an easy breezy, maybe Christianity is kind of the way I took that.

SPEAKER_02 23:39

It it it it the the the they want to feel a certain way. I think a lot of people when they go to church, they want to feel a certain way and and either do more or do less and still have that same feeling. And if they don't have that feeling, then they'll go somewhere else. And there's a there's there's a never-ending list of churches, you know, not only here in in in Rockdale or in Mileam County or Central Texas or Texas as a whole or the United States. There's a never-ending myriad of churches that you can go to to find that experience you want. But in the at the end of the day, is it the experience you want, or is it the experience that God wants for you? And for a lot of people, it's difficult. We think about, you know, the majority of people are Christians, but here's the truth when you read the Bible, and you know, we we just finished up in Acts, and it talks about the number of people at that time who were actually Christians, and it wasn't a super large number that were actual Christians, not people that claim to be Christians or anything like that. And guess what? That truth is still with us today. There are a large number of people. We talk about this all the time. I mean, Texas is the star on the Bible belt. I mean, it is the belt buckle, and most people claim to be Christians, but how many truly are? You know, there's a lot of people sitting in church today who claim to be Christians who truly aren't. And there's a lot of people that that that look at other people that that probably are Christians and they think, well, they're you know, they're hypocritical, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. We've all heard it. And and the fact of the matter is they don't take that time to look inwardly and see where they truly are. And if you've got that kind of hatred that that you unleash from time to time, then you truly aren't where you need to be. And you know what? I I have that issue from time to time where where people really frustrate me, and I have to stop. And and and it's difficult. And and if you let that keep permeating in your life and you don't ever repent of that, and you don't ever come back from that, and it just stays there and festers, you're not where you need to be. And it's a hard, and it and it's hard. It is hard sometimes. It's hard for everybody. Um, it's hard for me, and it's hard for you. It's hard for everybody, and nobody's better than anybody else. But the difference is the folks that truly repent and find a way to come back from that, those are the ones that get where we need to be. So there may be a lot of gamblers in the church. Yeah. A lot of Kenny Rogers running around.

SPEAKER_00 26:21

So All right, brother, it's your turn. All right, let's do it. Holy Father, we love you, we're amazed by you. We thank you for your work on the cross, the empty grave, the gift of the spirit. Lord, we just want to lift up brothers and sisters. You know, it's not easy. Uh we struggle with sin. Father, we fail you far too often. Forgive us. And thank you for forgiving us, Lord. We don't need to wear a scarlet letter, we don't need to feel guilty or you know, just live in regret. Father, just uh, you know, let anyone that's struggling allow you to pick them up, dust them off, and hear the words go and sin no more. And Father, we pray for people, you know, they that we want people in a church that's you know really uh focused on you, focused on um teaching how to how to follow you and and how to multiply and and um give them the uh the knowledge they need to to develop a relationship with you and not just check boxes or follow rules or or whatever, Father, but but really um equip them for the ministry of the church so that one day they'll stand before you as mature. We pray these things in your son's name. Amen. Amen.

Buildings, Neutral Spaces, And Access

SPEAKER_02 27:35

All right, well, that is episode number 45. We're moving right along. Once again, this is Let's Connect, the official podcast of Connect Church here in Rockdale. If you're in town in the Rockdale area on Sunday, come by at 10 o'clock. We have donuts, coffee, and fellowship at 10 30. We start service. Like I said, we have a children's church and we have a nursery. Be happy to see everybody we can. And if you're not in the area, we'll be back each Thursday with a new episode of Let's Connect. God bless everybody.