Episode 40 - Table Fellowship

We explore why meals matter for mission and how simple, consistent table fellowship turns surface talk into real community, prayer, and discipleship. From Jesus at parties to Acts 2, we map practical steps to open our homes, our schedules, and our hearts.

• Jesus at meals with outsiders as mission
• table fellowship as family bonding and discipleship
• prayer before meals as witness and conversation starter
• barriers to hospitality and home perfection myths
• culture of closed doors and how to counter it
• starting with church tables then widening the circle
• moving from platitudes to presence and action
• practical, repeatable steps for intentional invites

Please come. You won’t be sorry. Donuts, fellowship, and coffee at 10:00; worship at 10:30 at the American Legion Hall in Rockdale. Everybody’s welcome.

Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:10

Welcome to Let's Connect, the official podcast of Connect Church in Rockdale, Texas, where we want to help you to live a life that matters. One that is both on mission and has a purpose to follow Jesus and make disciples. So let's get started.

SPEAKER_01 0:30

All right, welcome into Let's Connect, the official podcast of Connect Church here in Rockdale, Texas. I'm your host, Bill Whitmeyer. I'm here as always with our pastor, Ken Ansel. Ken, it's it's cold today.

SPEAKER_02 0:45

It's been uh duck hunting weather on this misty, nasty. You know, it's great for duck hunting, but you know, it's really not just good for everyday life. Matter of fact, uh somebody texted me today and said, you know, it's easy to get the blues with this kind of gray.

SPEAKER_01 1:02

You know, I lived in the I lived north of Seattle for a while when I was stationed in the Navy.

SPEAKER_03 1:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

And I remember when it when I moved up there, uh, a friend of mine had been up there for about six months already. And uh he was helping us move into our base house and all this stuff, and uh I needed some things from the exchange. So he and I loaded up and you know, we threw the kids in the back of the truck when you didn't have to worry too much about seat belts on base and stuff. And yeah, you know, and and and so we we drove on down there and we walked in, and there was like three people that had ball caps on, and they had these little light things. You know how people put lights just so they could see forward? Yeah, these reflected back into their eyes. Really? And and it was it wasn't a bright light, but it was just enough light, and it was an antidepression device that people were prescribed up there. It's the weirdest thing I've ever seen in my life. It is weird. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:54

I'm gonna I'm not gonna wear one of that.

SPEAKER_01 1:57

We can get you one.

SPEAKER_02 1:58

The nurse can get you one. Oh, I'm sure, yeah. But yeah, it's wintertime, right? So it's a little gray.

SPEAKER_01 2:03

Oh man, I love it. I just this is this is this is the time that you can crank it on the fireplace. I mean, I know we're in Texas, so you know, fireplace is kind of silly when you consider what folks up north go to, but sometimes it's nice to find out. It is a fireplace. Yeah. I just sit there and you know, enjoy. I just I'll just sit there and read by it and just enjoy it.

SPEAKER_02 2:23

It's been some three dog nights lately, but we only got one dog and he's not allowed on the bed. So we just extra blankets.

SPEAKER_01 2:31

The nurses' goats are not happy right now. So yeah. But no. I I I love it, you know that. So Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas to you when you're in that season. Yeah. We sure are. It's good. Haven't got the tree uh the tree up at the courthouse yet, but we do have it up at the house.

SPEAKER_02 2:48

Wow. You're catching some heat when it not at the house, but at the as long as I do it, nobody's gonna care.

SPEAKER_01 2:54

But it's when I make the folks at work up there do it, and then they don't want to do it. But but it's fine. The nurse and I'll probably go up there Sunday and put it up and it'll be a surprise for everybody. She actually bought it, so you know it it was one of the gifts that she gave for the uh county. But uh the one at the house has been up for a while. I mean, I didn't have to go in the attic and get it, so they can put it, they could put it up in July if they want, as long as I don't have to go up in the attic and get it and put it back up. So I'm good with it.

SPEAKER_02 3:20

So well, I'm gonna be over there tomorrow, and I'm is there a complaint box somewhere I can fill out a complaint and wind the tree up. Sure.

Why Tables Matter For Faith And Family

SPEAKER_01 3:27

Yeah, just leave it, just leave it on Denise's desk. It'll be all right. So uh Hey, this is episode 40, and uh we skipped last week because it's uh we tape on Thursdays, and that is Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving. And uh I had a lot of family at my house, and of course you you were out of town at your daughter's house, and so yeah, we didn't we didn't tape last week, and but uh I hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving. Um I know some people may be listening to this in February going, what are those guys talking about? But at this time right now, it's it's it's the first week of the Christmas season, it's the week after Thanksgiving, and and I hope everybody had a wonderful Thanksgiving this year. So today you brought up the table fellowship, you know, being at tables and how I I think it's pretty well acknowledged that most families don't eat at a dinner table like you and I did when we grew up or like when uh when my kids were younger, we we ate at the table every meal. And and families don't do that that much anymore. But the fact of the matter is some of Christ's best work happened at at a dinner table.

SPEAKER_02 4:44

Yeah, he was a s a social butterfly, Jesus, wasn't he? Yeah, enjoyed a a good party. I mean, we we see that we we see Matthew after he meets Matthew, Matthew throws a we call it a Matthew party, and Mar Matthew wanted to introduce Christ to his friends who were who were not the best people, you know, uh culturally. Uh you know, yeah. And uh the the first miracle was at a wedding party and and um you know he was accused of uh being a a friend to sinners because he ate with sinners. We see, you know, we don't I don't know why. I don't know if I've ever preached on Zicaus. Uh maybe it's because in Sunday school growing up, we all know the story.

SPEAKER_01 5:31

I don't think I've heard it preach on that.

SPEAKER_02 5:33

But Zicaeus, you know, Jesus is like, dude, come down from the tree. Let's go to your house and let's have a little party. And yeah, so we see Jesus as social butterfly, you know, doing what really what I would call pagans or heathens do so well. They they enjoy time together around a table. Christians struggle with that.

SPEAKER_01 5:54

Yeah, we do on on a on a constant basis. We should we we struggle talking to sinners or people that we see as sinners. Yeah. And uh and and and that going back to that getting that at the table, you know, I remember when I when I grew up, it it bonded us as a family.

SPEAKER_02 6:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:12

And Melissa and I, we we try to eat lunch together just about every day. Um because a lot of times we don't eat at night just because of the diet that she favors.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Right.

SPEAKER_01 6:26

And um, but we do eat lunch and so we try as hard as we can, and we probably eat lunch together four or five times a week at least. Um maybe more. And um but on the days that I'm not with her, I usually try to go eat lunch with somebody else just to sit and talk to them, you know.

Jesus At Parties And With Sinners

SPEAKER_02 6:45

And well that's it. We we eat three meals a day. We need to include people that that uh need Jesus. Uh I mean I call them pagans, I don't mean to tick anybody off, but people that are far from Christ, maybe just unchurched people, people that have drifted from Christ, right? We need to include those people and and you know it's i eating together is an intimate. I can remember the first time I ever ate a meal with Jennifer. I mean, you don't know if you have spaghetti sauce dripping off your chin, and you know, you're trying to make a good impression. And and then yeah, the I mean, Jesus, you know, the table was important to his mission of seeking and saving the lost, but then you bring up the point that, yeah, we we got four kids and you know, growing up, we even played, you know, we called it Jeopardy, but it was kind of our version of Bible drill or something. You know, we took it as a time to disciple our kids. And uh we had a little bell, like you know, you ding on the counter at the hotel or whatever. We put it in the middle of the table and we'd ask questions. Lots of times we do that on Sunday, uh, you know, we'd ask sermon questions. And I don't know what they nothing like that pressure. Yeah, but yeah, it's a it was a time for us even to uh talk about life, but and you know, and we've got into that uh when they were younger, uh for sure. I mean I I told you before we started that we've got a table, it was my grandparents, and then it was it was the table I sat as a kid, and you know, that's one of the most important possessions I've got is that table. You know, and I think about all everything that happened around that. I my mom sat at it, I'm sure, when she was a kid lots of stuff, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:25

Yeah, I I uh you know, when when we go and we eat somewhere, we always you know say a prayer before we eat.

SPEAKER_02 8:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:35

And I was talking to a mutual friend of ours the other day. We went out to eat lunch and and uh he said, Hey, let's pray first. I said, Of course. And and uh, you know, he prayed and then as we were talking about it, we were talking about that, you know, and how how often it we'll go out somewhere and people will kind of take take an awkward step back while they're sitting at the table to allow somebody to say grace.

SPEAKER_02 9:03

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 9:04

And when I was a little kid and I would spend the summers with my grandparents, I I don't ever remember a time that my grandfather and I would would go out to eat for lunch and we wouldn't stop and say grace and how normal it was. Oh yeah. And how it's kind of become, but all those things that that goes into that what you're calling table fellowship. That that leads everything off. And it and it a lot of times it's funny to me because I'll do it when I'm with a group of people. I recently did it with a group of folks, they were they were both West Coast guys. And uh neither one said anything when I said, Gentlemen, I I'd like to say grace before we eat, and they both kind of nervously looked at me a little bit, and and so we said grace, and and we were at a restaurant over uh, you know, and and uh and then when we got done, they didn't they didn't even mention it. Yeah. But a week or so later, one of them came back into town. We're working on a project together, and he came back into town and and it started a conversation on and it it was really weird. It's like, why did you want to do that like that? And it's like, well, that's you know, you you need to give thanks for for for the meal you're about to eat, you know. And it started about a 30-minute conversation on, you know.

SPEAKER_02 10:24

That's that's like off the pages of the Bible, isn't it? I mean that you do that, and yeah, wow, I mean, that's exactly what we're talking about. Hospitality uh fits into this somewhere, right? We're not we're not real good at that anymore. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 10:39

Uh I remember growing up and you lived in a neighborhood, I lived in a neighborhood, and you would have neighborhood parties, or your your parents would have neighborhood get togethers, or a couple of your neighbors would come over and their kids would come over and you'd have food and everything. Yeah. Yeah, that doesn't really happen anymore like it used to.

SPEAKER_02 10:55

Monday night, you know, our hostess at the men's Bible study had spicy hot chocolate, and and then one of the guys brought some cookies. Like, that's good, right? Yeah. I mean, to to eat together, there's something about that. Jesus knew that, and he encourages us to to be like him, and I would think that fits into what we're thinking together about today, and and yet, you know, we I mean, we don't why don't we have people in our home? I mean, what you just said, why don't we do that?

Prayer At Meals As Quiet Witness

SPEAKER_01 11:25

It's well I know I know what comes to my house because I live four miles out in the middle of nowhere and people get lost and so they're scared to come to my house. But why do people not do that? You know, I I think we have this worldly idea of what our home should be, and I don't think there's anybody around that actually well, there are some that are around, but most people, especially our year age and younger, feel that their home or how they live or how they keep their house is inadequate to having visitors. You know, we we joke with the nurse and we call her the angry tornado because when a lot of people are coming over the house, she goes through the house like an angry tornado and cleans everything up.

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:13

But that is because she wants things neat. But I think a lot of people are just maybe a little bit embarrassed by where they live. And but for most people, they live in their homes, you know, and I I try to make that point all the time to the nurse that we live here. This is where we live, this is where I'm gonna come home, I'm gonna sit down right here, I'm gonna read my book. So when I want to read my book, my book probably needs to be here so I can get to my book easier. That may not be the greatest way to handle it, but you know, if the book on the end table bothers somebody, they better not go into my office because that looks like a disaster area. But but it but I think a lot of people they almost value their privacy more than they want to reach out and and and and have some sort of outreach.

SPEAKER_02 13:07

Yeah, and so that's selfish. I hate to say it. Uh yeah, Jesus didn't have a home, but he invited himself to Zacchaeus' home. And so, you know, if we just somehow try to glean through that, yeah. I mean, you know, we've I say we live in the Brady Bunch house. Our home was built in uh 69, and everything in it, I mean the carpet's been replaced, but I always say we're trying to make carpet great again. And when people come over, I'm like, I wonder what people think that this stuff is on the floor, because nobody's got carpet.

SPEAKER_01 13:41

I got carpet too. You do? Yeah, yeah. I mean, I've replaced it in the dining room of our house, and when I bought that house, it had it in all the it had carpet in the bathrooms.

SPEAKER_02 13:50

Oh man. That's like that's not Christian at all. Whoever decided to do that. But my point is, yeah, I mean, I'm I'm relating to your point is is yeah, I mean, we we you know, we're gonna we're just doing stuff a little bit at a time, you know, doing the remodel, but I mean we got rid of the green sink. We still have a green oven and cooktop, but uh nobody goes in the kitchen, right, when they come over. So vintage. Yeah, and so yeah, I mean, we don't even answer our door anymore, you know, and if if a neighbor did come over, we we wouldn't even let them in.

SPEAKER_01 14:22

You know, I I've been involved in in various different political activities for 20 years.

SPEAKER_02 14:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 14:27

And what you just said is is is a sign of the times. You know, twenty years ago we would go door knocking to introduce folks to candidates or whatever, and probably three or four out of every four and five uh doors would open. Wow. Um the nurse and I did that about four years ago, and it's the last time I've actually done it, and it's the last time I've actually recommended it to anybody because maybe one out of every five or six people open their doors. And then out of those, maybe only half of them were even friendly. Wow. And people they have ring doorbells, they have other things, they just look in and I don't know that person, you know. And that's how it goes, you know, and and and it is a sign of the times, but to invite folks over, to have them come over to your house to no, you know, no matter what it is, yeah, to have them come over to your house to to have that fellowship in your home, I I think is very important. And we do do some with a few of our friends, but quite honestly, we just live so far out in the woods. It's hard for a lot of people to get out there. But you know, we do spend some time with my parents, we do spend some time with some other friends of ours and some friends in town. You know, it's easier on us to come to them than it is to come out to us because not everybody has heavy duty tires and heavy suspension like we do.

SPEAKER_02 15:49

But no, that's a thing.

SPEAKER_01 15:50

I I I think people have to begin to really take a look at that and and and start. We we you know, we've you've talked about it many times in church, and you and I and a few others have discussed it. We need to be more of a community together, and and that's where it starts. If you're not even meeting at tables with your church community, then it's going to be very difficult to meet at tables with folks that aren't in your church or even those that are unchurched. And and that's where our focus needs to be. But to get started, you know, we need to have those dinners with folks that we go to church with. It's why it's so important that when you have new people coming to that church, somebody that's a member of that church needs to say, Hey, we're gonna go eat here. Why don't you come join us?

Hospitality Lost: Homes, Neighbors, And Fear

SPEAKER_02 16:39

Come join us, yeah. You know, missed missed opportunities, both within the body and then for outreach. I mean, how do we practice the one another's if we don't even know what one another's burdens are? How can we carry those burdens if we don't know what they are? Uh obviously God, you know, has something about eating, right? I mean, we know the Jews, you know, the the Passover meal and uh, you know, d the feast of booths and and uh yeah, and you talk about answering the door. I mean, I know we don't like it when the JWs come by or the Mormons, but man, those are opportunities to witness, but we just hide in our houses and and uh and you just never know, man. We had the the uh internet guy was doing the cable from the pole to the house the other day, and then he he was in the house, and uh you know, I'm working, you know, I work from home, I'm working, but he's like he was pretty chatty. He's like, Hey, what are you what are you doing? I'm like, Well, I'm working, you know, I'm doing what you're supposed to be doing. And uh he goes, What do you do? You know, and I told him, and you know, spurred on a gospel conversation, and he wasn't really there yet, but you just never know, right? We're so uh we're so not like Jesus. I don't, you know, I just feel like he was a meet and greet. You know, I mean he was here to seek and save. So he was obviously interacting with people in a variety of settings.

SPEAKER_01 18:07

And we do, you know, we talked about several months ago, you know, you still see it when something happens and somebody will say things like, We'll be praying for you, uh, or well if you need anything, let us know.

SPEAKER_02 18:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:25

And that's just become you know, I I I told the nurse the other day we were talking about something like this about a month ago, and we had a friend that's their daughter's having a real tough time right now and she has cancer, and and uh we were talking a little bit about this very subject, and I just it just popped in my head, what if we actually did that? What if people actually did that? What if when you said that, hey man, if you need anything, let me know, and then a a few days later you texted them, Hey man, I'm still here if you need anything.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:57

You know, what if we actually acted on those those little claims that we make or those things that we said? You know, it's so easy to to to and I know we've covered this before, but it's so easy to answer, you know, somebody's cry for help on a social media thing by throwing up some praying hands in the comments and this hitting scene. I'm not a fan of that emotion, you know, yeah. And and uh but are you doing it, you know? Yeah. And I think I told you a long time ago, is if if you ever see praying hands in a comment that I make, I have prayed before I sent that. Yeah. Because I'm not gonna send it if I'm not gonna actually pray.

SPEAKER_02 19:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

And and uh actually the this uh this little girl's grandmother is uh she works in my court, and her and I had that discussion the other day. You know, I said look, we're praying for her. I said, I wouldn't have made a comment if I didn't pray for her, and and the nurse and I are keeping her in there, and and you know, it's it's uh that's the dedication. And and and in all honesty, It doesn't take very much to be that dedicated to make things happen like that, to just call those folks back and let 'em know. Say, hey, uh, I'm still here if you need something, you know, please, please let me know. And then to, you know, do what you need to do. But you're you're right. It all starts getting at that table first with your church family. That's the easy part. That's the part that starts the flow. And then those new new folks that come into your church. So you you can't help you can't be part of a church community. You can't help people if you don't understand where they are, you know, and then and then be able to to listen to them when they have some critique for you, or for them to be able to listen to you when you have a critique for them. That's where we build on each other. Yeah. And sharpen ourselves right there.

SPEAKER_02 20:49

Yeah, that's a great point for for us to. Uh yeah. Well, that's good. And you've got your Bible up in Acts 2 and or Acts 1, but you know, Acts 2 is on the next page, and those people were breaking bread continually together, sharing meals together, and and yeah, those are great opportunities for us to speak into people's lives. And yeah, the whole I mean, we're just the church is reflecting the culture, not the church making an impact on the culture, right? The culture is getting more closed off, uh, more tribal, I think. And uh you're just happy with your little tribe, and everybody else can just, you know, whatever. And that's not that's not the image of Christ that I have. No.

SPEAKER_01 21:36

No, and it's not the image that we should try to imitate, you know, as uh Paul says later on, we should try to emulate or im imitate Jesus. Yeah. And that's what Jesus would be doing, and that's what we need to you know try and and make that happen, you know, as best we can. And so many times we want it to sound good, and I think you know, we want it to feel good too, but it's like a lot of things in life, we don't always want to do the work it takes to do it, though. And that's that's where the rubber meets the road.

Start With Church Tables, Then Outward

SPEAKER_02 22:12

Yeah. And we've got to break from these what we might call cultural norms. Like we've got some friends that we pray with fairly often, and and the last couple times we were getting together, they, you know, hey, you want to pray tonight? They said, Yeah. And they're like, Hey, can we bring pizza and eat? And like Jennifer already started preparing our dinner. Uh, and then the next week, you know, hey, y'all want to pray? Yeah, and they're like, Can we bring pizza? And and you're just like, Man, we'd already started, but you know, rain check. And you know, it reminds me of that Winnie the Pooh story how Winnie the Pooh's trying to figure out who he's whose house he's gonna go to, and finally he decides he's gonna go to rabbits because rabbits, rabbit always says, How about breakfast? And like those are beautiful words, right? When somebody uh, you know, I was with a friend the other day. We went to go see a classmate in the hospital, and uh he's like, you know, he's getting late. He goes, You want to eat lunch? I'm like, Yeah. I mean, I don't even like to eat, but I'm like, yeah, dude, I want to hang out. You know? I mean, those are those are those are beautiful words to me. Uh and they're words that that I can hear Jesus saying, Hey, how about lunch?

SPEAKER_01 23:24

It's that opportunity, and and they're there. And sometimes they don't always I mean sometimes those opportunities come up like that, and somebody says, Yeah, yeah, let's go, you know, and don't be afraid to go. Go go do it and and share. And I mean, those are the places where you have a captive audience, because obviously nobody's leaving until they eat. Unless they're really mad about something. I mean, but pretty much everybody's gonna sit there and until they get their food and they eat, and it gives you that opportunity to have those conversations that that that we should all be having with folks.

SPEAKER_02 24:02

Yeah, and the takeaway to today for me is that we have to be intentional about uh creating spaces and environments for us to have potential gospel conversations and just sharing the love of God through basic hospitality.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

That's a good word.

SPEAKER_02 24:21

All right. Who's up?

SPEAKER_01 24:23

I don't know. That may be me. I don't know, but I'll I'll do it. Let's go. Dear Lord, we thank you for all that you do for us and we thank you for just the opportunities that you provide for us to share your word, to be that example for you, to be that you know, just be that person that reaches out and helps to save folks and bring them to you, to you know, make disciples of folks. And Father, we just ask you for the ability to know when those opportunities are and then the I guess the ability to just move forward on that and make those opportunities mean something to somebody because you never we never know when those opportunities are gonna come out, but we need your help and your guidance as we move forward with those ideas. Father, we thank you for all that you do in our lives, for it's in Christ's name we pray. Amen. All right, so once again, episode 40. If you're here in Rockdale on a Sunday, almost said Saturday, on a Sunday, we have donuts, coffee, and fellowship on uh we have donuts, fellowship, and coffee at 10 o'clock. I got sidetracked because I hit the wrong button. Sorry about that. And then at 10:30, we have our worship service. Everybody's welcome. Please come. We're right now out at the American Legion Hall here in Rockdale. If you're in town, you're more than welcome to join us. Please come. You won't be sorry. And uh if not, then we'll be right back here next Thursday and for the Thursdays on after that until we're both too worn out to or we can't talk anymore. Hey, this is Lex Connect. We'll see you next week. God bless you,